Jello Problems
by Prince Lutin
Summary: Hau is tired of dealing with his annoying twin cousins Lemonjello and Orangejello, who like to cause trouble for him and his friends. The twins' behavior causes a lot of grief for Hau's family, and with Hala's barbecue coming up, the twins plan to cause more chaos and pin the blame on someone else.
1. Down the Drain

_**DISCLAIMER:**_ _I do not own Pokemon, Hau, Sun, Moon, or other canon characters. They are property of Nintendo. I do, however, own some of the characters._

 _This fanfic is rated T for profanity and mild suggestive themes. Not suitable for those under 13._

* * *

 **THE ESTATE OF NIBIRU-MUL PRSENTS**

 **JELLO PROBLEMS**

 **CHAPTER 1: DOWN THE DRAIN**

Hau was a happy child - perhaps a little too happy, but his family didn't seem to mind. He loved his grandfather Hala, his friends Sun, Moon, and Lillie, and especially malasadas. He had a large extended family, including lots of cousins. Hau was close with all his cousins and loved playing with them. That is, except for two of them...

Among Hau's cousins were the Jello twins, Lemonjello Kalena Dolly Momoa and Orangejello Kawena Molly Momoa. They were the daughters of his father's younger sister Kina and her husband Isaac. They were identical twins, aged five years old. The two girls lived in Iki Town, not too far from Hau's house - Hau lived in the same house as Hala. Lemonjello and Orangejello were a terrible twosome, causing trouble, breaking things and blaming it on others, and throwing tantrums. They especially loved to torment Hau. Although Hau was normally extremely happy, he got rather dull around the Jello twins.

We cut to a day at Hala's house. Lemonjello and Orangejello were running around, playing carelessly with baby dolls. One of them ended up getting its head ripped off.

"Aw, poop!" said Orangejello. "We broke another one of our baby dolls!"

"Don't worry, Orangejello," said Lemonjello. "Our mommy will buy us another one. I know where Hau and Makoa keep their action figures. Let's wreck those instead." Makoa was Hau's little brother. He was seven years old.

Hau was in his room, sitting on his bed and watching his little cousins. Sun and Moon were also there. Sun was sitting on the bed near Hau and Moon was sitting on the floor.

"Gee," said Sun, "your little cousins sure play rough."

"Yeah," said Hau. "Too rough."

"And they seem to break all their dolls," said Sun.

"I know one thing for sure," said Moon, stroking the ends of her hair. "Those fucking brats can't be trusted with toys. And kids thought _I_ played rough when I was that age! And who the fuck names their kids Lemonjello and Orangejello?"

"Don't ask," said Hau.

"Better not tell them about Jumeau dolls," said Sun. "Those are the fancy dolls that they make in Kalos. They cost a _ton_ of money. If Lemonjello and Orangejello broke one of those, I'd probably have a heart attack. I can't bear to see expensive things getting destroyed."

"Well of course!" said Moon. "Sun is rich and gets a lot of expensive toys that us normal kids can't afford."

Lemonjello and Orangejello were rummaging through the football-shaped toy box, throwing toys around the room.

"There's gotta be something good in here," said Lemonjello.

"A-ha!" said Orangejello. "Hau's Marvel superhero action figures! Let's see...there's Spiderman, The Hulk, Thor, Iron Man, Wolverine, Ms. Marvel, Black Widow, Squirrel Girl..." Orangejello threw the action figures out of the box. "Hey look, it's Beast! Hau's favorite action figure!"

"Let's play jacuzzi with him!" said Lemonjello. "He's got a men's bikini on."

"Okay!" said Orangejello.

Lemonjello and Orangejello laughed as they left the room and made their way to the bathroom. Hau didn't notice, but Sun stared at them. Hau started rambling about malasada while Sun was sitting there, mouth agape.

The Jello twins sneaked past the living room, where Hala was watching TV with his wife Mapuana. They entered the bathroom, where they placed the Beast action figure on the toilet seat.

"This toilet makes a great jacuzzi," said Lemonjello. "Don't you agree, Beast?"

"Want me to turn the whirlpool on," said Orangejello. "Okay."

Orangejello pushed the handle on the toilet.

"Hmm..." said Lemonjello. "Needs more bubbles."

Meanwhile, in Hau's room, Sun heard laughter and the toilet flushing. Moon also noticed the action figures scattered across the floor.

"Why are all these action figures scattered all over the goddamn floor?" said Moon.

"Hau..." said Sun. "I think I hear something coming from the bathroom."

"What is it?" asked Hau.

"You might want to take an inventory check on your action figures," said Moon.

Hau looked at his action figure collection. He noticed that one of them was missing.

"Where's my Beast action figure?" asked Hau frantically.

"You don't want to know," said Sun.

"Let's go to the bathroom," said Moon.

Sun, Moon, and Hau made their way to the bathroom, where they heard the Jello twins laughing as they flushed the toilet. After each flush, the Beast action figure drew closer to the toilet. By the time Sun, Moon, and Hau reached the bathroom, it was already too late. The twins pressed the handle together, knocking the action figure into the toilet.

"BEAST!" yelled Hau.

Hau ran over to the toilet in the hopes of reaching for his action figure, but to no avail. The action figure was sucked down the toilet, while Lemonjello and Orangejello laughed and smirked.

"BEAAAAAST!" screamed Hau. His scream was particularly loud.

"Oh, Hau," said Sun, trying to comfort Hau. "I'm so sorry about what happened."

"You can always get a new Beast action figure," said Moon.

"Moon!" said Sun.

Hala rushed into the room and saw Hau on his knees, crying his eyes out.

"Hau!" said Hala. "What's wrong?"

"Lemonjello and Orangejello flushed Hau's favorite action figure down the toilet," said Moon.

"Oh dear," said Hala. "Not another one." He looked at Lemonjello and Orangejello. "Don't smirk at me, young ladies! You girls are in big trouble." He turned back to Hau. "It's okay, Hau. I can call Adriana Cabrera, the local plumber, and she'll come to fix it."

Hala called Adriana Cabrera. Within half an hour, she arrived at the house. Adriana was an overweight, butch-looking woman with olive skin, dark brown hair in a skater boy style, piercings on her ears, nose, and tongue, denim overalls over a plaid work shirt, and loads of tattoos on her arms.

Adriana entered the house and talked to Hala.

"So, what's the problem?" she asked Hala. She spoke in a smoker's voice.

"My granddaughters flushed one of my grandson's action figures down the toilet," said Hala.

"Not a problem," said Adriana. "I'll just take the toilet off and reach into the cesspool to find the toy."

Hau ran over to Hala and Adriana.

"Please, ma'am!" said Hau. "Please save him!"

"Don't worry about a thing, kid," said Adriana.

Adriana went into the bathroom, unscrewed the toilet and took it apart. Sun, Moon, Hau, and Hala watched her do it, while Lemonjello and Orangejello stood outside. Hau was crying.

"Don't worry, Hau," said Sun. "I'm sure Adriana will be able to find your action figure."

"I'll have to dig into the cesspool," Adriana told Hau.

Hau screamed. Moon covered her ears since she didn't like hearing Hau scream.

Adriana dug in the cesspool, where she eventually stumbled upon the Beast action figure. She took it out of the cesspool and handed it to Hau. The action figure was covered in poop and broken in a few places. Hau screamed again.

Sun smelled the action figure.

"Aaaaugh!" he said, covering his nose and mouth. "It smells horrible!"

"I'm afraid that thing isn't worth saving," said Moon. "You'll just have to throw it out."

"Sorry, kid," said Adriana. "Unfortunately, there's nothing I can do."

Hau dropped the action figure and washed his hands. Then he ran to his room crying. Sun, Moon, and Hala looked angrily at the Jello twins.

"You little brats have some explaining to do," said Sun.

"I think you need a good old-fashioned spanking!" said Moon.

"Grandma's already called your mom," Hala told the twins. "You girls better apologize right this minute!"

Lemonjello and Orangejello shed crocodile tears.

"We're sorry, Grandpa," they said. "We didn't mean to do it."

Hala sighed.

"It's okay, girls," he said. "But remember to treat other people's property with respect."

"We will, Grandpa," said the twins. "We promise."

But as they promised, Lemonjello and Orangejello had their fingers crossed behind their backs.

"I don't think those girls will ever learn," Sun told Moon.

"I doubt it," said Moon.


	2. Hala's Barbecue

**CHAPTER 2: HALA'S BARBECUE**

That night, Sun was in his bedroom, lying down on his bed. He was wearing a mint green T-shirt and a pair of pink boxers. He looked out the window.

"I hope Hau's not too upset over his action figure," he said. He sighed. "He'll get over it."

While Sun was in his room, he saw the mailman come to his house. Sun's father Troy was at the door, taking what appeared to be an invitation.

"I know what that means!" said Sun. "It's that time of the year."

A few minutes later, Troy went inside and walked over to Sun's room.

"Hey, Sun," said Troy. "We've been invited to Hala's annual barbecue next Friday."

"Great!" said Sun. "Hopefully the twins won't be at their worst."

"Huh?" said Troy.

"Lemonjello and Orangejello wrecked one of Hau's action figures today," said Sun. "They flushed it down the toilet. You should have been there. Hala had to call the plumber and the toy had to be manually removed from the toilet."

"Oh dear," said Troy. "Makes me glad you and Calvin are past that phase. Dinner's going to be in about 30 minutes."

"Okay," said Sun.

Sun looked around.

"I'm not going to let a pair of brats ruin my night," said Sun.

After dinner, Sun lay down in the dark, hearing the sound of Lemonjello and Orangejello's laughter as he looked up at the ceiling.

In the meantime, at Hala's house, Hau lay face down on his bed, crying.

"It's okay, Hau," said Hala. "These things happen."

"It's just not fair!" cried Hau. "I'm sick of seeing all my toys being wrecked by those two little animals!"

"I know, Hau," said Hala. "On the plus side, my annual luau barbecue is coming up. You always enjoy that."

"Great," said Hau. "Lemonjello and Orangejello are probably going to be there."

"Well...yes..." said Hala. "But I'll make sure that they don't wreck your toys. I'll try to keep them outside."

"Thanks," said Hau.

At Moon's house, Moon was in her room, laughing at the whole ordeal while she was online. She had taken a picture of Hau's poop-covered action figure and she was going to post it to Instagram.

"I'm so glad to be an only child," she said to herself. "This pic is definitely going to my friends over in Kanto."

Moon's mom Alani heard her daughter laughing from outside.

"Moon, dear," she said. "Keep it down in there."

Moon just shrugged it off.

"I'm just glad that Hau doesn't have an Instagram," she said. Moon posted the picture to Instagram. She laughed as she looked at the picture of the poop-covered action figure.

At Lemonjello and Orangejello's house, the Jello twins were causing chaos as usual.

"Girls!" said their mother Kina. "It's bedtime!"

Lemonjello and Orangejello were on their beds, clad in yellow and orange footy pajamas respectively. The two girls were having a pillow fight.

"I don't need to sleep!" said Lemonjello.

"This is too much fun!" said Orangejello.

The girls knocked over their shelf, and all the stuff on it fell off. It was so loud that it alerted Kina. Kina opened the door and looked at her noisy daughters.

"GO TO SLEEP, YOU LITTLE BRATS!" she yelled.

Lemonjello and Orangejello began to cry. Kina felt bad about yelling at them.

"Sorry, dears," said Kina. "You can continue, dears. Just try not to be too loud, since it's past your bedtime."

"Okay," said the Jello twins.

After Kina left, the two girls continued their pillow fight.


	3. Cousin Melvin

**CHAPTER 3: COUSIN MELVIN**

Hau was not the only one with an annoying cousin.

Two days later, Moon had a visitor. Her mother's sister Tiare was visiting from Hau'oli City. And that meant...

"Oh, dammit!" said Moon. "Mom, I don't want Cousin Melvin to visit!"

"Now, Moon," said Alani, "I want you to be nice to Melvin. He's excited about attending the barbecue next week."

"But Mom!" said Moon. "He's so...nerdy!"

While Moon was lying down on her bed, she heard an annoying, nasally voice.

"HELLO!"

Moon looked to her doorway. Cousin Melvin was standing in the doorway. He was short, with tan skin, blond hair, and big swirly glasses. He wore a navy blue shirt and pants.

"Melvin Pinto, at your service!" said Melvin.

"Hey, Melvin," said Moon.

"So glad to see my favorite cousin!" said Melvin. "I just got the new Li'l Poindexter Chemistry Set! It contains instructions for making Kool-Aid!"

Moon groaned.

"Did I ever tell you I want to be a scientist when I grow up?" said Melvin.

"Yeah, you did," said Moon, "like a million times!"

Melvin ranted and raved about nerdy science for 20 minutes, making Moon really bored. After that, Sun walked in the room.

"Hi, Moon," said Sun. "Your mom let me in." He looked at Melvin. "Hi, Melvin."

"Hey, Sun!" said Melvin. "I'm telling Mahina about science. I've told her all about the joys of corrosives."

Moon growled.

"Don't call me by my real name!" she said.

Melvin looked at Sun.

"Too bad they don't make chemistry sets like they used to," said Melvin. "I remember last time you came over you told me that your grandfather had a really cool chemistry set when he was a kid."

"I did," said Sun. "It contained flammable stuff that they'd never sell to kids these days."

"Want to learn about the periodic table?" said Melvin.

"No thanks," said Sun.

Melvin started to ramble. "Today's element is ytterbium," he said. "It is one of four elements named after the village of Ytterby in Sweden, and the last one to be discovered. Its atomic number is 70, its symbol is Yb, and it has seven stable isotopes. It's a rare metal and it's very flammable. It's also been used to make stainless steel, infrared lasers, the world's most stable atomic clock.

"Wow," said Sun. "This guy is like a walking encyclopedia."

"I love encyclopedias," said Melvin, "especially encyclopedias about science."

"Whatever," said Sun.

"Hey, Sun," said Moon. "I'm getting tired of waiting around here. Want to go to your house?"

"Sure," said Sun.

"Can I come too?" asked Melvin.

"Eh, no..." said Moon. "Oh, dammit! I guess I have to bring Cousin Melvin with us."

"Great!" said Sun. "We can play in the pool. It's a lovely day." Sun turned to Melvin. "Did you bring a swimsuit?"

"I did," said Melvin. "And while I'm there I can analyze the water samples."

"Yeah, I guess," said Sun.

Sun, Moon, and Melvin left Moon's room - Moon didn't forget to grab her swimsuit so she would be ready for the pool. At the kitchen table, Moon's mother Alani was talking with her sister Tiare and her sister's husband Benjamin.

"Mom! Dad!" said Melvin. "We're going to Sun's house."

"Okay, honey," said Tiare. "Make sure to be back for dinner."

Sun led Moon and Melvin to his house. Sun walked over to the front door and opened it. "I think we'll have to change in my room," said Sun. "Well...that means me and Melvin. Moon will just have to use the bathroom."

"Fine by me," said Moon.

Sun led Melvin to his room. Sun reached into his drawers and took out a green speedo. Melvin took out a navy blue speedo from his bag. Both boys changed into their swimsuits. Moon went into the bathroom and changed into a maroon sports bra and tomboyish red swim shorts.

"I'm going to get my brother Calvin," said Sun.

Sun knocked on his brother Calvin's bedroom door. Calvin opened up. He had the same hairstyle as Sun, except his hair was dyed black with blue streaks. His nose and lip were pierced. He wore black clothing.

"Yes, Sun?" said Calvin.

"Want to come play outside, big bro?" asked Sun. "We're going in the pool."

Calvin looked at Melvin.

"Is that Moon's cousin Melvin?" he asked. "I refuse to get in the water with that freak." Calvin sighed. "Fine. I'll come outside, but I'm not getting in the water." Calvin closed the door. In the meantime, Sun, Moon, and Melvin went to the pool, taking the door on the upper level and walking down the stairs. Sun's father Troy was sunbathing near the pool. He was wearing a navy blue speedo and a pair of sunglasses. He looked like a bloated Wailmer.

"Wow!" said Moon. "Your dad looks awful. Maybe I should count his rolls."

"Shh!" said Sun. "Don't say anything about my father's weight!"

"Sorry, Sun," said Moon.

Sun, Moon, and Melvin climbed into the pool. Sun picked up his beach ball, which was floating in the pool.

"Want to play ball?" asked Sun.

"Sure!" said Melvin.

"Okay," said Moon.

The three kids played with the beach ball. After a while, Calvin came outside and walked down the steps to the pool. He wore a black speedo with a skull on it.

"Hi, Sun," said Calvin.

Calvin sat down in a chair. He looked at his father.

"I'll keep an eye on the kids while you sunbathe," said Calvin.

"Thanks, son," said Troy.

In the pool, Melvin had stopped playing. Instead he was rambling about science.

"Now I'd like to talk about the water," said Melvin. "Water takes of 70% of the earth's surface, and 97% of it is salt water. Seawater has a salinity of roughly 35,000 ppm, equivalent to 35 grams of salt per one liter of water. The saltiest seawater is found in the Red Sea." He looked at Moon. "Maybe I can analyze that bush over there. That's an octopus bush, or _Heliotropium foertherianum_ if you want to be scientific."

"Hey Moon," said Sun.

"Yeah?" said Moon.

"Your cousin's kinda...annoying," said Sun.

"That's how he always is," said Moon. "He's always ranting and raving about all that scientific bullshit. He's interested in just about every science there is, even ones that aren't any of his fucking business. He almost never takes his glasses off, even when he's in the pool."

"I guess Hau's not the only one with an annoying cousin, Moon," said Sun. "Still, I'd take Melvin over Lemonjello and Orangejello any day."

"Did you say Lemonjello and Orangejello?" said Melvin. "I know those two. They're so annoying. But they like Kool-Aid. Maybe I can use my to make them Kool-Aid. Wouldn't that be cool, eh? It sure would! Don't you agree? Huh?"

Calvin looked at Melvin and heard him rambling.

"I am not looking forward to that barbecue," he said. "Between Melvin and the Jello twins, I think I'd rather blow my brains out."

And in the next chapter, we'll get back to Hau, Lemonjello, and Orangejello...


	4. Eatsa Pizza

**CHAPTER 4: EATSA PIZZA**

The next day, Hau's aunt Kina and uncle Isaac invited him to have lunch at the Pua's Pizza Palace in Koko Town. Sun and Moon decided to accompany him.

Sun and Moon were sitting at a table with Hau, who decided to eat separately from his cousins.

"How have the twins been?" Sun asked Hau.

"Evil," said Hau. "Those little brats have already been mean to three people today. They also burped in an old man's face."

"How terrible!" said Moon sarcastically.

"On the plus side, Aunt Kina let me order my own pizza separate from the ones the twins are eating," said Hau.

"Which pizza do you think you're going to order?" asked Sun.

"I'm not sure..." said Hau. "Could you help a guy out?"

Sun and Moon looked through the menu, looking for something to order.

"Let's start off with a pu pu platter," said Sun. "Like my dad always says, no Alolan dining experience is complete without one of those. Let's see: they've got egg rolls, chicken wings, teriyaki chicken, fried wontons, sushi, poke, crab rangoon, coconut shrimp, and dipping sauce."

"Awesome!" said Moon.

"It looks delicious," said Hau. "Don't forget the guava sodas!"

"Why not?" said Sun. "We'll have a good pizza luau." Sun ordered the appetizer when the waitress came around. "And of course, dinner's on me."

Moon and Hau laughed.

Isaac and Kina looked at Sun and then turned back.

"It's no surprise _he_ is going to pay," Isaac told Kina. "He must get that gluttony from his father. I know Troy Vieira well - I swear, that man must have nine stomachs."

"That's right," said Kina. "Money can't buy happiness. Only faith in God can."

Sun looked at Isaac and Kina and turned around with a shocked expression.

"Gee," said Sun. "What's with your aunt and uncle trash-talking me and my dad?"

"Ah, they do that all the time," said Hau. "Uncle Isaac's an evangelical Protestant minister. He doesn't like your dad because of his wealth. He thinks being rich is a sin. Personally, I think he's just jealous."

Sun heard screaming. Lemonjello and Orangejello were throwing a tantrum because they couldn't get toys out of the crane machine.

"Oh no," said Kina, rushing over to her daughters.

"WE CAN'T GET THAT MEOWTH DOLL!" yelled Lemonjello.

"THAT MACHINE IS FUCKING UNFAIR!" yelled Orangejello.

"Don't worry, darlings," said Kina. "Mommy's going to get you some delicious pepperoni and pineapple pizza."

The Jello twins stopped screaming.

"Yummy!" they said.

Meanwhile, the Salazzle animatronic near the counter started talking.

"HEY! WHO ORDERED THE PU PU PLATTER?"

Sun, Moon, and Hau got their pu pu platter and dug into the meaty delights. They decided to order a pizza with buffalo chicken, mozzarella, peppers, and broccoli. Moon looked at Sun gorging himself on teriyaki chicken and fried wontons.

"Wow, Sun," said Moon, "if you eat that much, you're going to end up as fat as your dad."

"I know," said Sun.

Meanwhile, Lemonjello and Orangejello ran into the indoor playground, where they came across a three-year-old girl with blonde hair in ringlets and a purple dress.

"Hey, little girl!" said Lemonjello.

"What?" asked the little girl.

"Your hair's funny," said Orangejello.

"It looks like pasta's growing out of your head?" said Lemonjello.

"Maybe we should put tomato sauce on her," said Orangejello.

"Nah," said Lemonjello, "we should use tomato _paste_."

The little girl started to cry.

"Mommy! Those two girls were mean to me!"

"What a moron," said Lemonjello.

Lemonjello and Orangejello walked through the tunnels, pushing kids out of the way and making rude remarks to them. They made their way to the biggest slide, where a fat boy was siting in front of the slide.

"Hey, Porky," said Orangejello. "Beat it!"

"Get your butt out of here!" said Lemonjello.

The fat boy stood up.

"Yeah," said the boy. "You and what army?"

"Me and this army!" said Lemonjello. "Move bitch, get out the way!" She pushed the boy.

"Atomic wedgie!" said Orangejello. The twins pulled the boy's underwear up from the back and over his head.

The fat boy's eyes teared up.

"I'M TELLING MY MOM!" he said as he ran away.

"Suckers," said Orangejello. The twins went down the slide.

Soon after, Sun, Moon, and Hau had finished their pu pu platter, and then they got their pizza.

"Hey look!" said Sun. "The animatronic band is coming up."

The curtains on stage opened and revealed six animatronics: Pua, an Alolan Rattata, Billy Bob, a Bewear, Orval, an Oranguru, Mindy, a Pom-Pom Style Oricorio, Kanani, a Ribombee, and Larry, a Midnight Lycanroc.

"Hey, ladies and Germans!" said Pua. "We've got a great show for you today! Now I'm going to start off the day with one of my favorites. Put your hands together for The Hukilau Song."

The animatronics started playing, and Pua started singing.

 _Oh we're going to a hukilau_

 _A huki, huki, huki, huki, hukilau_

"Man, this band is lame," said Moon.

"You should go at night," said Sun. "At night, they play adult songs."

"Cool!" said Moon. "We should go one night."

"We're only eleven," said Hau. "We're not old enough to go out that late."

Lemonjello and Orangejello looked over.

"Hey, look!" said Orangejello. "It's Hau's friend Moon."

"Mommy and Daddy says she plays rugby," said Lemonjello.

"Rugby?" asked Orangejello. "Isn't that a sport that buff Australian guys play?"

"Yeah, sis," said Lemonjello. "But Moon's a girl. That means that she must be a lesbian." The Jello Twins blew raspberries at Moon.

Moon blushed, both with rage and embarrassment.

"Now now, girls," said Kina. "Don't be making fun of Hau's friend Mahina. We all know that rugby's not for girls, but you don't need to rub it in Mahina's face."

"Let Mahina realize her folly on her own," said Isaac.

"I'd love to play rugby using those BRATS as the ball," said Moon.

"And your aunt and uncle are hella sexist," said Sun.

"I know," said Hau, "but I can't control them. My aunt Kina was always the black sheep of the family - always jealous of her siblings. Out of my dad's brothers and sisters, she's the only one who never did the Island Challenge. She always thought it was dumb."

"I think she's dumb," whispered Moon.

Hau giggled.

"But for now, let's enjoy this pizza and these guava sodas," said Hau.

"That's what we're here for," said Sun, "to eat!"

"Fuck yeah!" said Moon.

Sun, Moon, and Hau dug into their pizza.


	5. Hide and Sneak

**CHAPTER 5: HIDE AND SNEAK**

After everyone had their pizza, Hau, Sun, and Moon had to walk back with Kina, Isaac, and the Jello twins.

"Hey, Sun!" said Orangejello.

"What is it, Lemonjello?" asked Sun.

"I'm Orangejello, dummy," said Orangejello.

"I just love the toilet paper hanging off your shoe!" said Lemonjello.

Sun looked at his foot and saw that there was a piece of toilet paper stuck to it. He panicked for a bit and tore it off.

The group eventually reached Kina's house.

"I better get going," said Sun.

"Me too," said Moon.

Sun and Moon went on their way home.

"Ahem!" said Kina. "You stay right here, mister! My darling little girls told me that you were mean to some little kids."

"That wasn't me," said Hau. "That was the twins."

Kina put her hands on her hips and gave Hau an angry look.

"Please let him play with us, Mommy!" said the Jello twins.

"Well..." said Hau. "I do have my green army guys with me. I guess I could play for a little while."

"Yay!" said the Jello twins.

"Gulp," said Hau.

Cut to an hour later, where Hau and his cousins were playing in the backyard. Hau had hidden his bag in the guest room in a place where his cousins couldn't reach it.

"Want to play a game of hide and seek?" asked Hau.

"Hide and seek is lame," said Lemonjello.

"No, girls," said Hau. "I mean with your dolls. I hide the dolls and you go looking for them."

"Well...okay," said Orangejello.

"And remember to count to 100," said Hau.

Hau went to hide three of Lemonjello and Orangejello's dolls in various places in the backyard. In the meantime, Lemonjello and Orangejello went inside the house. They were looking for Hau's bag. Hau was kept waiting in the backyard. He then heard the sound of laughter.

"What could that be?" he asked himself.

Hau went over to the front yard. He saw Lemonjello and Orangejello throwing his green army guys into the street.

"MY ARMY GUYS!" yelled Hau.

Hau ran over to collect the army guys, but before he could get any of them, a car ran over them. He turned towards Lemonjello and Orangejello, who were laughing their heads off.

"YOU LITTLE BRATS!" he yelled.

"I thought it was funny!" said Lemonjello.

"Why do you keep destroying my toys?" said Hau. "If you keep destroying my toys, I won't have any toys left!"

Lemonjello and Orangejello began to cry.

"MOMMY!" they yelled.

Kina rushed outside and saw her daughters wallowing in pain. (Of course, the two little brats were faking it.) She screamed.

"Hau was playing mean with us," said Lemonjello.

"He threw all of his green army guys in the street!" said Orangejello.

"WE JUST WANTED TO PLAY WITH THEM!" yelled Lemonjello.

"AND THEN HE TRIED TO HIT US!" yelled Orangejello.

"HAU!" yelled Kina. "You better take more responsibility with your toys. What's gotten into you?" She knelt down to comfort her daughters. "Don't worry, dears. I got suckers for you." She held out two lollipops, which her daughters took.

"But they're faking it," said Hau.

"Faking it?" said Kina. "They're just little girls! How can they be faking it?" She turned to her daughters. "There, there, girls. I'll take you out for ice cream tonight."

Kina picked up Lemonjello and Orangejello and took them inside. Hau saw the Jello twins smirk and give each other a high five.

"See?" said Hau. "They _are_ faking it!"

Later, Hau talked to Sun and Moon over the phone. Hau was in the living room of his house, clad in his yellow robot pajamas. Sun was lying down on his bed, dressed in a blue tank top and a pair of pink boxers. Moon was on the porch on the side of her house, dressed in a Guns N' Roses T-shirt and black pajama pants.

"I can't believe my little cousins!" said Hau. "They did it again - this time with my army guys!"

"That's too bad," said Sun, "although I think you should have left them at home."

"I didn't know Aunt Kina was going to make me stay at her house," said Hau.

"Never been crazy about that aunt of yours," said Moon. "She's such a bitch."

"I agree," said Sun.

"And that's not even the worst of it!" said Hau. "Lemonjello and Orangejello got me in trouble by pretending that I hurt them - and of course, Aunt Kina took _their_ side! Why do parents always side with their kids, even when their kids are bad?"

"That's how parents are," said Moon.

"Don't worry," said Sun. "I'll bring over a bag of malasadas for you tomorrow."

"Thanks!" said Hau. "But what will I do about the Jello twins?"

"Beats me," said Moon.

"Just try to keep a positive face," said Sun.

Hau sighed.

"I guess you're right," said Hau. "I'll try to be positive."


	6. Getting Ready for the Luau

_**A/N:** Sorry to keep you guys waiting!_

* * *

 **CHAPTER 6: GETTING READY FOR THE LUAU**

Several days passed, and now came the day that was the day before Hala's big barbecue luau. Moon was sitting on the front steps of her house, looking around at the streets. She saw Sun walking by. Sun noticed that Moon had an angry, disgruntled look on her face.

"Aw, shit!" said Moon.

"What is it, Moon?" asked Sun.

"I just found out that Cousin Melvin's coming to the barbecue!" said Moon.

"That's too bad," said Sun.

"Now I'm going to have to listen to him ramble about scientific bullshit," said Moon.

"It won't be too bad," said Sun. "And hey, it's not like your mom is forcing you to pay attention to him. You can just ignore Melvin almost the whole time."

Moon sighed.

"You're right, Sun," said Moon. "Maybe I should just try to enjoy myself."

We cut to Lemonjello and Orangejello's house. Kina is throwing a fit because she had caught her daughters watching the live-action _Beauty and the Beast_ on TV.

"I'm outraged!" said Kina. "Disney teaches children everything that goes against Christianity, like magic, and faggotry!"

"Don't worry, honey," said Isaac. "Our precious little angels won't see that lewd movie again."

"Disney needs to stop teaching kids the gay agenda!" said Kina.

Lemonjello and Orangejello were in their rooms, jumping on their beds.

"Aw, poop!" said Lemonjello. "Mommy ratted us out on our movie watching!"

"That's okay, sis," said Orangejello, "cause tomorrow is going to be a fun day!"

"I don't think so," said Lemonjello. "Grandpa's serving a disgusting pig roast for dinner!"

"But we're going to have coconut pineapple cake for dessert," said Orangejello.

"Mmm!" said Lemonjello.

"We're going to steal some coconut pineapple cake," said Orangejello. "If we get caught, we'll just put it in the hands of Hau or one of his dopey friends. The grown-ups won't ever suspect that we did it!"

"Awesome sauce!" said Lemonjello.

The two girls did a high five.

Now cut to Hau. He was in the kitchen watching his grandfather make the coconut pineapple cake. Hau reached out to take a taste of the cake

"Hold that finger, Hau!" said Hala. "That cake's for tomorrow!"

"Aw, man!" said Hau.

"I'll let you lick the spoon," said Hala. "I'm done with it."

Hala handed Hau the spoon. Hau licked it.

"I'm looking forward to this party," said Hau. "I can't wait to see the smiles of everyone who will taste the cake. You said a lot of important people are coming. So...who's going to be coming?"

"Let's see..." said Hala. "There's Olivia, Nanu, Hapu, Mallow, Sophocles, Molayne, Ilima, Kahili, Wicke, and even Guzma and Plumeria. Unfortunately, Professor Kukui won't be able to make it. He's got to take his grandmother to the hospital for her cataract operation."

"That's too bad," said Hau. "But I'll be glad to see everyone."

"There's going to be a lot of other dishes too," said Hala. "Sun's parents are bringing Portuguese rice muffins, Moon's mother is bringing teriyaki chicken, Mallow is bringing sweet potato casserole, Nanu is bringing piri-piri chicken, Hapu is bringing halo-halo, Olivia is bringing macaroni salad, Molayne is bringing homemade wagashi, and Wicke is bringing homemade malasadas."

"I think I'll skip the piri-piri chicken," said Hau. "Last time I had it, I got blisters all over my tongue. But I'm really looking forward to the malasadas! And I know that Sun is going to be looking forward to the wagashi."

"Molayne told me it took him four days to make all the wagashi," said Hala. "Last night, he even stayed up till 3 AM preparing daifuku."

"Do you have the banana leaves for the pig roast?" asked Hau.

"I sure do," said Hala. "I made sure my Crabrawler didn't eat any of them like last time."

"That sneaky Crabrawler's always trying to swipe your food," said Hau, looking out the window. outside, Hala's Crabrawler was stealing sweet potatoes from Hala's vegetable garden while Hau's older sister Kaila was planting African violets in her flower garden. "Looks like we won't be having sweet potato pie for dessert next week."

"That's okay," said Hala. "There's more sweet potatoes to go around than I can possibly keep."

"What are we going to have to drink?" asked Hau.

"There will be all kinds of sodas," said Hala, "Diet Coke, regular Coke, and fruit-flavored sodas, with flavors including pineapple, watermelon, guava, lychee, papaya, grape, strawberry, and mango."

"Mmm!" said Hau. "I'm really looking forward to this barbecue luau. And all those flowers that Kaila is planting are going to add color to the party."

"Yep," said Hala. "This is going to be one great barbecue luau."

And next chapter we'll see how the barbecue luau is going to go.


	7. Happy Luau to You-Au

**CHAPTER 7: HAPPY LUAU TO YOU-AU**

At last came the day of Hala's big luau barbecue. Everyone came to the luau, which took place in Hala's backyard. There were a lot of people, and there was ukulele music playing on the radio. Hala was grilling hamburgers and hot dogs on the barbecue, his wife Mapuana was entertaining several of the guests, and Hau was playing with his cousins (that is, the ones who weren't named Lemonjello and Orangejello).

Sun had come to the party with his family. He was dressed in a purple Hawaiian shirt and pink shorts. He was looking at the food table, seeing which dish he was going to try first.

"Mmm..." said Sun. "There's a huge buffet of food. I don't know what to take first." He eyed the dish that was in front of Nanu.

"Hey, Sun!" said Nanu. "Try some of Nanu's piri-piri chicken..just like Mother used to make."

"I love myself some piri-piri," said Sun, taking a piece of chicken.

"My nephew Manu helped make it," said Nanu.

"Manu?" said Sun.

A young man in his early twenties, with long, shaggy brown hair, big eyebrows like Nanu, an orange and grey striped tank top, and ribbed black capris, walked up next to Nanu. This was Manu, Nanu's nephew.

"Hi, Manu," said Sun.

"Don't forget the sauce!" said Manu, pouring a spoonful of piri-piri sauce on Sun's chicken. "Be careful...it's very spicy."

Sun went forward and helped himself to some more food - he took some macaroni salad, teriyaki chicken, and wagashi. Then he went to get a hot dog from Hala, which he put ketchup on. Sun grabbed a watermelon soda to wash it all down. He put it near one of the tables and hold his father to watch his plate so nobody took it.

Moon was sulking in a corner, looking really annoyed. She was wearing a maroon party dress with orange trim and blue polka dots (looking like the one Angelica wore in the Rugrats episode with Tommy's birthday). Hau walked over next to Sun.

"Whoa!" said Sun. "What is that?"

"Mom made me wear this stupid party dress!" said Moon. "It's so fucking girly!"

Hau looked at the dress and laughed. Sun couldn't help but laugh too.

"I look like I'm four years old," said Moon.

"Don't worry," said Sun. "I don't think it's...that bad."

"I know you guys think it's ridiculous," said Moon. "You're having trouble trying to hide your giggles."

Lemonjello and Orangejello, both clad in matching pink party dresses, looked at Moon's dress and burst out laughing.

"It can't get any worse than this..." said Moon.

Then, suddenly...

"HELLO, CUZ!" said a nasally voice.

"Oh no! Melvin!" said Moon.

Cousin Melvin was waving hello at Moon. Then he started to ramble about scientific knowledge.

"I'm going back to the table to eat," said Sun. "Want to get some chow, Moon?"

"Sure thing," said Moon.

Sun and Moon ignored Melvin. Moon and Hau went to get some food.

"This food is so good!" said Sun, eating his food and washing it down with watermelon soda.

Sun then heard a scream.

"OWWWWW!" said Hau. "MY TONGUE!"

"What's going on?" said Sun.

"Hau just burnt his tongue on the piri-piri chicken," said Moon.

"I told him it was extra-spicy," said Nanu. "But it looks like your boy Guzma's getting his good share." Guzma was standing under a tree, munching on piri-piri chicken.

"Here's a soda to wash it down," said Molayne, handing Hau a diet Coke. "I hope you like my wagashi!" Molayne yawned.

"It's good," said Hau, "but not as good as this malasada!" Hau shoved malasada in his mouth.

"Hau! Sensible bites!" said Mapuana.

"Okay," said Hau.

"That's my boy!" said Mapuana.

In the meantime, Lemonjello and Orangejello were messing around. They used one of their cousins as target practice while they were playing horseshoes. Then they ran across the place, running towards the food table, but they narrowly avoided wrecking the food as Manu made a scary face to get rid of them. The Jello twins screamed.

Hala told his wife to take over the grill for a second while he walked over to Nanu.

"Your granddaughters nearly knocked over my chicken," said Nanu. "To be perfectly honest, I hate those two little brats. They're so loud and obnoxious."

"I know you do," said Hala, "but just try to be polite."

"It's hard to when you're dealing with those fucking Jello twins," said Nanu.

"They've got such dumb names too," said Manu. "I wonder how their mom came up with them."

"I think I'll take them somewhere else," said Hala. He turned to the Jello twins. "Excuse me, dears, but would you like to play in the front yard? There's a lot more room, plus your mom and dad can watch you there."

"Okay..." said Lemonjello and Orangejello.

Lemonjello and Orangejello took it to the front yard.

"Hey, Lemonjello," said Orangejlello.

"Yes?" said Lemonjello.

"The cake is inside the house," said Orangejello.

"Let's each take a piece and blame it on Hau and Sun," said Lemonjello.

"Of course!" said Orangejello.

Sun, Moon, and Hau were enjoying their food and talking while the Jello twins sneaked into the house while Kina and Isaac had their backs turned.

"This party's pretty good," said Sun.

"I think so," said Moon, "even if I have to wear this stupid lame-o party dress."

"And these malasadas are so good!" said Hau, stuffing his face full of malasadas.

"Hau! Sensible bites!" said Sun.

"Okay..." said Hau.

"Sorry..." said Sun. "It's just that I don't want to see you choke. We should all be enjoying this wonderful luau."

Meanwhile, Lemonjello and Orangejello found the coconut pineapple cake. They started to scoop handfuls from the cake and started to eat it. However, while they were eating it, they accidentally knocked the cake over. The bratty twins continued to eat it anyway.

Sun, Moon, and Hau heard the crash from inside and saw the Jello twins on the ground, eating the ruined cake.

"I can't believe my eyes!" said Moon.

"You ruined Grandpa's cake!" said Hau.

"What do you have to say for yourselves?" said Sun.

Lemonjello and Orangejello started screaming and crying. They threw cake at Sun and Hau's mouths and smeared it in their hands.

Hala, Kina, Sun's father Troy, and Moon's mother Alani ran over to see what was happening. When Hala saw the ruined cake, he gasped.

"My cake!" he said.

"Who did this?" asked Troy.

Lemonjello and Orangejello burst into tears.

"It was those two boys!" said Lemonjello and Orangejello, pointing to Hau and Sun. "They hit us and knocked over the cake!"

Hala, Kina, Troy, and Alani shot angry looks at Hau and Sun.

"I can't believe you would do this!" said Troy. "This isn't like you at all, Sun!"

"Not to mention hurting your little cousins!" said Hala, grabbing Hau. "What's gotten into you?"

"But they're lying!" said Moon.

"They're little girls!" said Kina. "My little girls don't lie."

"You two get to Hau's room right now and think about what you've done!" said Hala.

"But Dad..." said Sun

"I'm sorry, Sun," said Troy, "but it's your fault. You and Hau shouldn't have knocked over the cake."

Hau and Sun frowned and went over to Hau's room.

"Now let's get back to the party," said Kina.

After the adults left, Moon looked at the cake.

"Excuse me, you little brats," said Moon, "but you and I both know that you were the ones who wrecked the cake."

"Of course we did!" said Lemonjello.

"We just didn't want to get in trouble!" said Orangejello.

Moon froze for a second.

"I'm going to tell the adults the truth," said Moon.

Moon went outside to where Sun's parents were sitting. She looked at them.

"Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Vieira," said Moon, "but I was at the scene and I know that Sun and Hau didn't ruin the cake."

"That's ridiculous, Moon," said Troy. "We know they did."

"But they're lying!" said Moon. "I was there, and I heard Lemonjello and Orangejello knock over the cake, and Sun and Hau were with me. When we got in, we tried to reprimand them, but the girls wouldn't listen and then they smeared cake on Sun and Hau's hands and threw some at their mouths to look like tehey did it. It's okay if you don't believe me,."

Sun's mother looked at Moon.

"I believe you," she said.

"Loretta, dear," said Troy, "you weren't there."

"But I was," said Moon. "And I know that Sun has a habit of always telling the truth. He's not one to lie."

Troy looked at his wife and frowned.

"What have I done?" he said. "I didn't believe my own son and instead I believed a pair of brats!"

"Don't worry about it," said Loretta. "We'll go talk to Sun."

"Thanks," said Moon. "I'll go talk to Hala and tell him what really happened in the kitchen."


	8. The Big Finish

**CHAPTER 8: THE BIG FINISH**

Sun and Hau were sitting in Hau's room. Sun sat on the bed belonging to Hau's younger brother Makoa. He was crying a little. Hau was laying down face flat on his own bed. He was crying his little heart out.

"It's not fair!" sobbed Hau. "It's just not fair!"

"We didn't do anything wrong," said Sun, "and my own dad didn't even believe me."

"I don't know what to do!" cried Hau.

"We're going to be missing all the fun outside," said Hau.

In a minute, Troy and Loretta came into the room to see their son.

"Hello, Mom," said Sun. "Hello, Dad."

"Sun..." said Troy, "are you okay?"

"Yes," said Sun.

"I have something to tell you," said Troy. "I'm sorry I accused you of ruining the cake."

"Moon told us the truth," said Loretta. "Lemonjello and Orangejello set you up."

Sun got up from the bed.

"Thank you," he said, hugging his parents.

"No problem," said Troy.

"Can I go outside now?" asked Sun.

"Sure," said Loretta. "We'll get you more food too."

"Thanks," said Sun. Sun went outside with his parents.

When Sun got back to his chair, he looked around. The Jello twins were nowhere in sight.

"Where are those two little brats anyway?" asked Sun.

While this was going on, Moon and Manu promised to teach Lemonjello and Orangejello a new dance. However, this was merely a plan to get Lemonjello and Orangejello to confess their crime.

"I'm going to put on some music," said Manu. He popped in a CD and selected the song "Surfin' USA" by the Beach Boys.

"Now girls," said Moon, "watch what I do and then copy me."

Moon started to shake her hips and move her feet to the music. Of course, Moon didn't actually like this kind of music, but pretending to be nice was really hard for a foul-mouthed girl like herself. She saw that Lemonjello and Orangejello were copying her.

The party-goers gathered around Moon, Lemonjello, and Orangejello.

"Aw," said Mapuana, "isn't that cute?"

"Those are my talented little angels," said Kina.

"I would love to learn those swell dance moves," said Molayne.

"It's so charming to see them," said Olivia.

"It's just hilarious seeing those little brats thinking that they can dance!" said Guzma.

"True dat," said Plumeria.

"I know what Moon is doing," said Sun.

Moon then smirked.

"I have a good idea," she said. "This next dance involves jumping up and down."

"Cool!" said Lemonjello and Orangejello.

The two girls jumped up and down, around and around, and then in cartwheels. Pieces of cake fell out of their pockets.

Everyone gasped.

"Oopsie," said Lemonjello and Orangejello.

Kina walked up to the twins with an angry look on her face.

"So," she said angrily, "it was _you_ who ruined the cake! You little brats are in big trouble!"

"You're damn right it was us!" said Lemonjello.

"We just wanted some cake," said Orangejello.

"Plus you set up Hau and Sun to cause trouble," said Moon.

Lemonjello and Orangejello's eyes teared up.

"But we're sooo sorry, Mommy!" they said.

"And look at yur dresses," said Kina. "Those dresses are dry clean only!"

Lemonjello and Orangejello looked at each other, growled, and started to fight.

"I better get Hau and apologize to him," said Hala.

Hala went inside and saw Hau on his bed crying.

"Hau," said Hala. "Can I come in?"

"Yes," said Hau.

"I'm sorry that I accused you of ruining the cake," said Hala. "It was your cousins all along."

"Does that mean I can come out now?" asked Hau.

"Of course you can," said Hala.

Hau hugged his grandfather, and then the two went back outside. Hala went to check on the pig roast.

In the meantime, Sun, Moon, and everyone else had their eyes on Lemonjello and Orangejello, who were fighting.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT, ORANGEJELLO!" yelled Lemonjello.

"NO, IT'S YOUR FAULT, LEMONJELLO!" yelled Orangejello. "YOU DID IT!"

"DID NOT!" yelled Lemonjello.

"DID TOO!" yelled Orangejello.

"DID NOT!" yelled Lemonjello.

"DID TOO!" yelled Orangejello.

The Jello twins wrestled on the ground and rolled around until they bumped into one of the tables, knocking a bowl of fruit punch over. The two girls became covered in fruit punch, which left red stains all over their party dresses.

Kina and Isaac walked over to their daughters. Kina was trying to be nice to them without losing her cool.

"Oh girls," she said, "it's time for...AAAAAAAAH!"

Kina saw Lemonjello and Orangejello, covered in punch, wrestling on the ground.

"Don't worry about it, dear," said Mapuana. "You could take them home and clean them up."

"Cool it, Mother!" snapped Kina.

Kina angrily picked her daughters up and handed Orangejello to Isaac.

"YOU LITTLE BRATS!" she yelled. "You two are coming home with your father and I NOW!"

"But Mommy..." said Lemonjello and Orangejello.

"No buts!" said Kina. "You ruined your grandfather's barbecue."

"And you're not going to get dessert for a whole month!" said Isaac.

"WHAT?" said Lemonjello and Orangejello.

"Come along, girls," said Kina.

Kina told her parents that she was leaving. She and Isaac then left the party, taking Lemonjello and Orangejello with them.

"Good riddance, you little brats," said Sun.

"Serves you two right," said Moon.

Hau was feeling better now, and he walked over to Sun and Moon.

"Thanks for helping me out," said Hau.

"That's what friends are for," said Sun.

Hala looked at all the guests.

"Attention, guests!" he called out. "Pig roast is ready!"

Mapuana helped Hala cut up the pig roast.

"Anyone who wants a piece can come and get it," said Mapuana.

Everyone got in line to get some pig roast. Hau, Sun, and Moon each got a nice cut of pork.

While Hau, Sun, and Moon were sitting at the table eating their pig roast, they talked.

"This luau barbecue is so awesome!" said Sun.

"And the food is really good!" said Sun.

"I'm kinda full, though," said Hau.

"Let me guess," said Sun, "you ate all the malasadas."

Hau burped.

"Sorry," he said.

"I'm glad you are enjoying the barbecue," said Troy. "I can't get enough of this pig roast! Maybe I really do have nine stomachs..."

"Don't eat too much, dear," said Loretta.

Manu walked up to the table.

"Hey, guys," he said. "Guzma gave me this picture that Moon put on Instagram." Manu took out a picture of Hau's Beast action figure - the one that was covered in poop after Lemonjello and Orangejello had flushed it down the toilet - and put it on the table. Hau looked at the picture and growled.

"MOON!" he yelled.

"It was just a little joke..." said Moon.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!" yelled Hau.

"Here we go again," said Sun.

Hau got up from his chair and walked over to Moon. Moon got up from her chair, taking off her high heeled shoes. Hau chased Moon around the yard, hoping to get even with her for sending out that picture. Moon laughed as she ran away from Hau.

"Children..." said Manu. "Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."

"Ain't that right, Manu?" said Nanu.

"Of course!" said Manu.

Guzma and Plumeria looked at Hau and Moon.

"It looks like some people can't control themselves," said Plumeria.

"We'll be talking about this for days!" said Guzma, taking pictures with the camera on his phone.

Hala looked around and smiled.

"This barbecue was a success," said Hala. "I think this is one of the best barbecues I've ever had - even if we're not getting a cake. But one thing that never changes is that my guests are happy, and they're enjoying themselves."

"You said it, dear," said Mapuana.

And so everyone enjoyed the luau barbecue, and all was right with the world.

 **THE END**


End file.
